Stock Market Open Today: Veterans Day, the real hours, and if your bank's playing hooky

[Generated Title]: Black Friday Stock Market Hours: The "Deal" You're Not Getting

Okay, so it's almost Thanksgiving. Turkey, family drama, and the annual Black Friday shopping frenzy. And somewhere in the middle of all that chaos, we're supposed to care about… stock market hours? Seriously?

The Illusion of Choice

Let's be real: the stock market "closing early" on Black Friday isn't some magnanimous gift to the working class. It's a carefully calculated PR move. "Oh, look at us, giving our traders a half-day off to spend their bonuses!" Give me a break.

The article says the stock market is open on Black Friday, but closes at 1 p.m. ET. So what? Are we supposed to be grateful for a few measly hours of trading while the rest of us are fighting over discounted TVs? And they call it Black Friday, like we're all getting some amazing deal. The real deals are happening behind closed doors, offcourse.

I mean, who actually makes investment decisions between stuffing their face with leftover turkey and dodging soccer moms at Walmart? And who even cares about the bond market closing at 2 p.m. ET? Are normal people even buying bonds?

Crypto: The Unblinking Eye

Of course, the crypto bros are gloating. "Crypto markets are open 24/7/365!" they crow. Yeah, great. So I can lose all my money at 3 a.m. on Christmas morning? No thanks. It's like they want us to be glued to our screens every second of every day, chasing the next pump-and-dump scheme.

I'm just saying, maybe there's something to be said for a system that forces people to take a break, even if it's just for a few hours.

Here's a thought leap: I tried to buy a coffee the other day, and the damn machine was "updating." Updating what? It's a coffee machine, not the Pentagon. Everything is connected to the internet now, and it's all going to fail at the same time.

The Real Holiday: Consumerism

The article mentions a bunch of holidays the stock market doesn't close for: Valentine's Day, Halloween, Kwanzaa... basically, any holiday that doesn't involve a massive orgy of consumerism. Funny, isn't it? Is the stock market open today? What to know about Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

The stock market is closed on Thanksgiving, but open for part of Black Friday. Closed on Christmas, but open for part of Christmas Eve. What does that tell you? It tells you that the only thing Wall Street truly worships is the almighty dollar. And they expect us to believe this nonsense, and honestly...

Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe everyone else is perfectly happy lining up at 4 a.m. to save $20 on a toaster oven. Maybe I'm just a grumpy old cynic yelling at clouds. But I ain't buying it.

So, What's the Point?

It's all a freakin' game, and we're all just pawns.