Larry Page's Fortune Explodes: Net Worth, Overtaking Ellison, and What We're Not Being Told

Alright, alright, settle down tech bros. Larry Page is now the second richest dude on the planet. Big freaking deal. Apparently, Alphabet's stock is mooning because of some AI hype, and that's magically translated into another zero being added to Page's bank account. Color me unimpressed.

The AI Hype Train Rolls On

Let's be real, this whole AI surge feels like 1999 all over again. Remember Pets.com? Yeah, that's the level of irrational exuberance I'm seeing right now. Google drops "Gemini 3," and suddenly everyone's throwing money at Alphabet like it's the second coming. Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff is cheerleading from the sidelines, praising Gemini’s performance on X. When a rival CEO hypes your product for free, markets tend to notice (and buy). Give me a break. It's all smoke and mirrors.

And what about the actual product? I mean, has anyone really used Gemini 3 and thought, "Wow, this is worth making Larry Page richer than God?" I doubt it. It's just another chatbot, spitting out vaguely coherent sentences. Sure, it might edge out ChatGPT in some industry benchmarks, but who cares? It's not solving world hunger or curing cancer. It's just generating text. But ofcourse the sheep will follow...

The article says Meta Platforms is in talks to spend billions on Google's AI chips. Billions! For chips they might use in 2027? That's like betting your entire life savings on a horse race where the horse hasn't even been born yet.

I guess Sergey Brin is doing alright too. He passed Bezos to become the world's fourth-richest. So now we have two Google guys in the top five. That's great for them, I guess.

The Larry Ellison Casualty

Poor Larry Ellison. He’s been dethroned. His net worth is only a paltry $248.8 billion now, down from whatever insane number it was before. Oracle’s shares took a nosedive, and suddenly Page is king of the hill. Is it because Oracle's software is actually terrible? Or is it just that AI is the shiny new toy? Who knows, and honestly, who cares? It's just a bunch of billionaires swapping places on a list.

It's all just numbers on a screen. Does it actually improve anyone's life? Does it create jobs that pay a living wage? Does it solve any real problems? Nah. It just makes the rich richer.

So What About Larry Page?

Who is Larry Page anyway? The article mentions he co-founded Google with Sergey Brin back in 1998. He was the CEO of Alphabet until 2019. And now he's just sitting on a mountain of cash, watching his net worth climb higher and higher. The rally in Page's personal wealth over the past five years is impressive too, going from $50.9 billion in 2020 to $144 billion at the beginning of 2025. By the years end, he touched the quarter-trillion dollar mark. So what? What's he doing with all that money? Is he using it to fight climate change? Is he funding education? Is he solving the housing crisis? I ain't seeing it.

Maybe he's just building a giant flying car. You know, because that's what billionaires do. Oh wait, that's right – Larry Page’s flying car failure is a lesson for techno optimists. Well, that's something, I guess.

Then again, maybe I'm just jealous. Maybe I'm just bitter because I'm not a billionaire. But let's be real, I'd probably just waste all the money on pizza and video games anyway.

Another Day, Another Billionaire

So, Larry Page is richer than Larry Ellison. The stock market is a casino. And AI is probably overhyped. What else is new?