Larry Page Becomes World's 2nd Richest: His Net Worth, Larry Ellison, & Where He's Been
So, Larry Page is apparently richer than Larry Ellison now. Okay. I guess. Like anyone really needed another reminder that the world's gone completely sideways.
The Rich Get Richer, Duh
Shares of Alphabet, Google's parent company, jumped like a caffeinated kangaroo, we're told. Up 5.8% one day, another 6.3% the next. All thanks to... AI? Give me a break. The AI hype is just another way for these guys to inflate their stock prices and line their already overflowing pockets. It's like they're playing Monopoly with real money, and the rest of us are just watching from the sidelines, eating ramen.
And let's be real, Larry Page's net worth is some abstract number. $272 billion? What does that even mean to a normal person? It's Monopoly money. It's the kind of wealth that insulates you from reality. You could buy a small country with that kind of cash. Why aren't these guys, like, solving actual problems instead of hoarding wealth?
The article says Page's wealth has grown exponentially, from $50.9 billion in 2020 to over $144 billion at the start of 2025. That's insane. I mean, my rent went up $300 this year, and they're talking about billions like it's spare change.
AI Savior or Just Another Bubble?
This whole AI thing... I don't know, man. They're saying Google's Gemini 3 model is "edging past" ChatGPT. Okay, great. Another chatbot. Another way to automate jobs and make everyone feel even more useless.
Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff is "cheerleading from the sidelines," according to one report. Translation: "Hey, look at me, I'm relevant too!" These guys are all in on it. It's a self-congratulatory echo chamber of tech bros patting each other on the back.
And Meta (aka Facebook) might be using Google's AI chips? So, the company that sells your data to the highest bidder is now relying on the company that tracks your every search? Sounds like a match made in hell, if you ask me. What could possibly go wrong?
Offcourse, the stock market loves it. Alphabet's stock is up almost 70% this year. People are throwing money at it like it's the second coming. But is it sustainable? Is this AI bubble going to burst? Or are we just doomed to live in a world where algorithms control everything and a handful of billionaires control the algorithms?
So What?
Larry Page co-founded Google with Sergey Brin back in 1998. Good for them. They solved a "search problem in a Stanford dorm." Now they're richer than Croesus. Are we supposed to be impressed? Inspired? I'm mostly just tired. Tired of the inequality, tired of the hype, tired of the feeling that the world is being run by a bunch of out-of-touch nerds who think they're saving the world when they're probably just making it worse. According to Larry Page Passes Larry Ellison Becoming World’s Second-Richest, Page has recently surpassed Ellison in wealth.
But hey, at least Erika Kirk's "A Grab" joke is getting some attention. Because that's what really matters, right?